Monday, May 31, 2004

Trivial Honesty

What I Did Not Buy Todayis the best read yet. A newcomer with plenty of promise, who will kill you with laughter. It's superficial, quick, short, and desperate - everything most blogs are but try not to appear as such. Click on her site just for the "about me" picture. Bunny Gull (what a name!) looks like she's in a Stolichnaya ad somewhere in St. Petersburg, not SF. All the entries revolve around how much she spent on a particular day, which nobody cares about, and somehow, for that reason alone, it'll get you laughing. One can hear her voice in their head, obsessing over two dollars. Here's my favorite snip, "I had my legs and eyebrows waxed today. That was about $70, but I've planned that since I made the reservations for Hawaii. OMG, Janice punched the crap out of some soccer mom. Hilarious." How can you not see the glory in such trivial honesty?

Sunday, May 30, 2004

(Short) College Life

College Life will be short. Proper and beaurocratic, students will cringe at its mission statement: "issues of interest to college students and those in their 20's". Make up your mind. You can't have two large groups; only one. College students or those in their twenties? The phrase "editorial focus is politically what is best for you" doesn't only hurt my ears, but is a surefire offense to any students. Students don't want to hear "what is best for you"; that's exactly why they've left to college. Noticing all the comments that have been removed by a blog administrator, the blog is off base with its visitors. Of course, these removals occurred at a posting about fraternities. Not an "issue of interest". The posting about ISSUES VITAL TO YOU OVER NEXT 2/20 YEARS seems ill placed. Again, make up your mind, 2 or 20. Which is it? Is it between 2 to 20 years? How did you figure this one out? In POLITICAL: VOTE DIVIDED GOVERNMENT, College Life (the curious name of the author, what are you afraid of? You won't give us your name and you want us to read your article?) rambles on about pork barrel politics. Rather than "issues of interest", shouldn't College Life be about college life?
A message to all sincere bloggers too earnest for their own good: stop using the royal we. Stop pretending. WE know its just you contributing to your blog.

LOW:TECH AT AD:TECH

What's wrong with Blogs? Anyone can make one. The team of MarketingVOX was even paid to make one for some conference in San Francisco! AD:TECHblog defeats the message it's trying to sell. Russ Eisemann, SVP Marketing, Tower Records gives a downright laughable quote when you look at their blog (or website, for that matter, which this blurb appears on): "There's nothing like leaving a conference with a new motivation and inspiration to improve your business model. AD:TECH provides all of us with new techniques and best practices to deliver direct sales to your bottom-line." The bottom line at Tower must be generic product. Thank dog for music downloads. In fact, the blog is so spurious, it makes one suspicious that this conference ever took place. The posts occur on a thin strip that requires more unnecessary scrolling than at a library of parchment in Pergamon. Beside the posts is a grey field. Cutting edge marketing here folks! Step right up and stare at the grey field. A note is given on AD:TECH's website regarding who should attend: If you are a CEO, CMO, marketing executive, advertising executive, brand manager, product manager, media director, media buyer, media planner, interactive solutions provider, creative director, or web publisher, AD:TECH is a must-attend event!" Is this a joke? If they can't put together a decent blog, that has more content than grey field, can we take them seriously? At one of their meetings this is the conclusion they came to, as posted by Chris Eaves: "Kevin Lee's comments reflected the general consensus - it depends." Remarkably insightful wouldn't you say? Chris's post begins by mentioning a party the night before, for which he's surprised it’s the same people who were so loud the night before and so quiet today. Now we know what kind of industry professionals attend these conferences. Dedicated to grey fields across the entire web!

Saturday, May 29, 2004

A Medieval Scandanavian From San Francisco?

Complete with a 'political compass', it seems Kriselda has a handle on her life as dully reflected in the mediocre, relativist title for her blog: Different Strings. She is a Norse Witch from San Francisco, who probably shops at IKEA for her lingberries. Chalk full with bloated passages, the entries wind back unto themselves enough times to make it more labor than fun. "I spent a summer as a missionary in Nome, AK. (If you're scratching your head because you thought you remembered reading that I'm a Norse Witch, don't worry, you did. At that time, however, I wasn't.)".
I thought Thor was more concise with those lightening bolts? My guess is that Kriselda has a lot of bumper stickers on her car. This blog wears its politics on its sleeve, offering little insight or honest responses to world events. Self involved blogging that tires the eye; not to mention an absurdly long sidebar. When one tries to share too many links, none of them stick. Some selection and restraint can go a long way. If you link a hundred interests, after five to ten, who cares? However, the best parts of this blog are other people's material. Nobody said it would be easy. The quasi-mythic, pop politic sentiments make one want to run as far as possible from this Renaissance Fair. Don't bother commenting either, the blog uses a seriously flawed and time consuming "questionable content" check.

Friday, May 28, 2004

Cellar Door Review: More Like A Basement Hatch

Cellar Door begins with a pathetic quote from Donnie Darko, not much needs to be said, except I can't wait until that actor and his sister get their nose jobs done into a pinched look. Apparently, Harold counts 'anniversaries' from the last time he took a trip. How zany and eclectic! LA television writer who does yoga, goes to a Zen center, and is a Buffy fan. Notice any cliches? If he's not telling the truth, then his blog reeks of flatulent ignorance. Just consider 22 May 2004 entry, "Hoot'n Holler for CWA", where he rambles from light empathy for people striking with their union and then dismisses it as futile before moving on to a new Disney production. Apparently, SBC employees need only consult this blog so they won't waste anymore time.For a superior lesson in triviality, please visit Howard for banal blogging at this Basement Hatch.

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